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Call & response - Emotional Check-In
One at a time around the circle people play how they are feeling – often we use this at the start or end of a session. They create a short phrase on their drum that expresses their feelings (call) and the group
validate that by echoing it back to them (response).
When you drop the ball, how do you respond?
An exercise that looks at how we respond when we drop the ball, make mistakes, and the feeling of
shame that often arises.
Discuss with the group the feelings you get when you make mistakes (give examples) and feel embarrassed
(give examples). Ask people to reflect on how they personally deal with mistakes. In particular, this
exercise is used to focus on the feeling of ‘shame’ - ensure this is discussed. What are some of the
different ways we might respond to feelings of shame - constructive or destructive? List in 2 different
columns on a white-board.
Start a rhythm sequence involving different parts played in order around the circle, for example - Bass, 2
x Tone, Clap, Flam and repeat. Slowly speed up. When anyone loses the sequence, they have to say one
way they might respond in life when feelings such as shame arise from mistakes generally (drawn from
the pre-discussion content), and whether this is a useful response or not.
The first step in dealing with shame is to acknowledge what you’re feeling. It’s not always obvious that what
you’re feeling is shame. Sometimes you experience it as anger, irritability, defensiveness, procrastination, or
depression. Anger is often the response to feelings of shame.
Shame likes to hide. There’s a good reason people often say after telling an embarrassing story, “I wanted
to crawl in a hole.” You want to protect yourself from those who would deride you. It’s also important to
distinguish shame from guilt. Shame goes beyond guilt & involves a deep feeling of inadequacy. Guilt is a useful
emotion. It’s our conscience letting us know we’ve let ourselves down in some way. Feeling guilt may motivates
us to fix our mistakes and improve our behaviour. The important distinction is that guilt applies to our actions
and shame applies to our inherent value. Shame actually makes you less able to improve your behaviour. It
implies that you’re permanently, inherently bad, rather than affirming that you’re capable of growth.
Shame has other functions as well. For example, an overt display of shame can signal remorse to the people
around you. If you’re beating yourself up, they feel more inclined to let you off the hook. In this case, shame
performs a social function, preserving your connection to the community after you’ve done something bad.
Avoiding shame can become a lifetime pursuit – and become a way of keeping yourself stuck. You may feel like
you don’t deserve to be happy because you’re so rotten. Conveniently, this also spares you the effort of trying to
make positive changes in your life. Overcoming shame requires self-awareness, particularly of your inner
dialogue, self-compassion, self-acceptance, and forgiveness of self.
Around the Circle Games For Focus & Concentration
Play in order of drums around the circle
1. Bass, Tone, Tone, Clap – B, O, O, Clap & repeat
2. Bass, Tone, 2 x Tone, Clap – B, O, O o, Clap & repeat
3. Bass, Tone, 3 x Tone, 3 x Clap – B, O, O o O, 3 x Clap, Clap, Clap & repeat.
4. Bass, Tone, 3 x Tone, 2 x Flam plus Clap, - B, O, O o O, Fl, Fl, Clap & repeat.
These games foster teamwork and focus as the group tries to get a smooth sound as the sequence
moves around the circle.
These games are particularly useful when the number of parts in a sequence is not divisible by the
number of participants in the circle – meaning that each person will play a different part of the sequence
each time you go around the room.
} If your group is divisible by four add or subtract a part.
} Each person plays a part of the sequence in turn.
} Aim for smooth and consistent pacing and gradually increase the speed.
} Make up your own sequences and add body percussion and voice
The Name Game
The facilitator explains the sequence in three steps:
1. An individual plays the phrase - My name is ………… (add name) matching the number of beats to the number of the syllables of the words.
2. The group respond with - Their name is ………. (add name) matching the number of beats to the number of the syllables of the words.
3. Everyone finishes up by saying - What’s your name? - playing three flams at the same time, and directing this question to the next person in the circle.
Note: You can break the sequence between numbers 2 & 3 and have people say a couple of additional things
about themselves – e.g., favourite hobby, favourite movie, favourite game, favourite food etc. before counting
in sequence 3.
Then repeat, one at a time, in order around the circle
Before starting ask people to work out how many syllables in their name - give some examples.
Remembering people’s name is an important part of building trust in a group or between individuals.
A syllable is a single, unbroken vowel sound within a spoken word. They typically contain a vowel, or two if one is silent, and perhaps one or more accompanying consonants. So, syllables are always A, E, I, O, U or sometimes Y when it makes a vowel sound. All words are made from at least one syllable.
Syllables are sometimes referred to as the ‘beats’ of a word that form its rhythm and breaking a word into syllables can help English learners with phonetic spelling. Another way to describe a syllable is a ‘mouthful’ of
a word.
Taking back power after loss.
Sometimes events leave us feeling like we have no autonomy or power, particularly after we have experienced a significant loss.
We will invite you to reclaim your power by entering the circle and playing on the large Bass Drums, supported by the rest of the circle.
In this exercise we place one or two large drums with mallets in the middle of the circle.
The group start a foundation rhythm and at any stage a person can enter the circle (or you may like to
schedule people one at a time) and play on the powerful Bass Drums, asserting their power.
Post group discussion
Share with the participants how it felt to take back power in this way and be supported by the rest of the
group. What other ways could help regain the ground you lost?
Play improvised music, layering in one at a time, then solo the pigs - use two or four.
Ask those holding the pigs to try and get a rhythm going and dialogue with each other, rather than just ‘squeezing’ randomly.
Then when you return to the full group ask people to pass their pig to their neighbour so a new pairing occurs.
DREAM CATCHER - Sharing hopes & Fears
The dream catcher was traditionally used by the Ojibway in North America to protect young children
against bad dreams (spirits) that were ever circulating in the atmosphere.
They believed also that good dreams surrounded us as well - the dream catcher caught all dreams and
sorted them, only allowing the good ones through.
In this game we share good and bad dreams, catching the bad ones before they dominate us and
welcoming the good ones.
Each person represents their own ‘dream catcher’. Play ‘Rumble Ball” (imaginary ball game).
When the ball comes your way, you have a choice to:
} Catch it - and name a fear you have for the future or
} Open your arms wide and accept it - and then name a positive dream (hope) you have for
the future
At the conclusion draw attention to any commonalities between the group members and discuss -
ensure a balance between hopes and fears.
How important is it to share your fears? How important is it to hold onto your dreams?
Out of Tune Out of Time - It's Not A Crime!
Tolerating and accepting Dissonance in Others and in our Music.
Rumble on your drum if you have ever felt a bit out of sync with those around you - you don’t quite fit in. We have all felt like this at times - yet for some people, not fitting in is a cause of them being victimised
by others and hurt either physically or emotionally. Why do we sometimes find it hard to tolerate people who are different?
In music sometimes when people are out of tune or out of time it can be irritating but equally it can add something different to a sound that can sometimes get a bit repetitive. Often great musicians use dissonance this way - to add to the dynamism of the piece.
In this exercise we will ask one or two people to play in a different rhythm (3, 5 or 7time) to the rest of us
(4 time - B B - -) and try and control our irritation, while seeing whether we can accept their part as part of our group rhythm. If we change our outlook, it can help us see people who are different in a new light.
And maybe when you feel a bit out of place other people will be more accepting of you.
4 Time B B - - B B - - B B - - B B - -
3 Time B O o O B O o O B O o O B O o O B O o O etc.
5 Time B O O O Fl B O O O Fl B O O O Fl etc.
7 Time B O o O O o O O o O B O o O O o O O o O etc.
B = Bass O = Tone Fl = Flam
Discussion: Did you notice that no matter what your timing, there will still be moments when we connect. How hard was it to learn to accept some discord? How important is tolerance in your relationships with other people?
Note: This exercise can also be done with chimes – adding a dissonant B or F note to a pentatonic set.
Understanding the impact of other’s emotions on those around them.
Many people find themselves surrounded by people who struggle to contain their anger and frustration.
An environment where people are constantly exposed to other's aggression or resentment has a lasting impact on them.
When people realise the emotional impact their social surroundings may have on them, they can take active steps to reduce its harm.
Don’t Stand So Close to Me
Ask the group to play a soft foundation rhythm
Choose one person to play to themselves a happy/uplifting/feel good rhythm over the top of the foundation.
Then ask the two people on either side of the happy player to start to play angrily and aggressively on their drum.
Examine what happened to the rhythm of the happy player and how they felt when the aggression started - how challenging was it to remain upbeat?
If they were able to maintain their positive attitude - explore how.
Extension
Try looking at how a positive, supportive environment can help lift someone who is feeling low.
Reverse the script, so that the nominated person plays sad and the two people on either side work to support and lift them.
Note: In this extension it is important for the players doing the support role to start off playing at the same emotional level to the sad individual between them (listening first & validating the feelings) before trying to lift their friend out of their gloom.
Moving away from the conditioned responses of the past
All of us have histories and conditioning from the past that impacts our behaviour and thus our lives in
unconscious ways. These generally stem from the disempowered world of the child. In order to live our
lives fully and to function as autonomous members of society we need to recognise these influences,
observe them in our daily lives, for good or for worse, that keep resurfacing. In order to break free of
these histories we have to bring them to consciousness. This often means facing our childhood fears and
the lethargy of inaction.
Breaking Free Exercise
Ask people to think about some of these unconscious behaviours they recognise in themselves, that
maybe negatively impacting their lives or relationships.
Some common issues maybe:
} I am not good enough, so I have low expectations, avoid risk, keep a low profile, and maybe
tend to self-sabotage
} My child self was neglected, so I make up for it by seeking power through material
acquisition or power over others
} I compensate for feelings of neglect and insecurity through the constant need for
reassurance from others
} Other addictive patterns that fill the want within - compensating for the pain of loss.
Choose a simple rhythm and make it clear that this symbolises these reoccurring, historically driven,
behaviours we have discussed.
As they play the rhythm (together, or in one-to-one work with you as their therapist) ask them to name
these patterns (taking responsibility).
Then ask them to break away from the rhythm (the facilitator/therapist maintains the original rhythm)
without losing total connection, but moving away into a new pattern of their own.
Fade away to close.
Discussion
How did that feel? What helped you find the courage to break free? How important was first taking
ownership of the original rhythm? How might you do a similar thing with these problematic patterns in
real life?
Pre-discussion
Anger is often a normal part of grief, where we may feel betrayed, let-down or abandoned.
These are normal feelings.
What is forgiveness and why is it so hard? Why is it often important not to forget the wrongs that have
occurred in our lives?
Forgiveness, as an act of acceptance, is not forgetting or condoning the harm that has been done; instead, it
is letting go of the need for revenge and releasing negative thoughts of bitterness and resentment, towards
ourselves and others. Forgiveness is simply about understanding that every one of us is both inherently good
and inherently flawed (Desmond Tutu)
When the unchangeable past is accepted, then the focus can move from pain and resistance to forgiveness,
healing, and progress in recovery.
Forgiveness Exercise
Teach the 7-bar break:
TIMING 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
Drum Phrase 1 B b O - B b O - B b O o O o O -
Drum Phrase 2 B b O o O o O - B b O - - - - -
I Forgive, Not Forget - I am Learning to Accept”
I am Learning to Forgive and Accept”
Ask people to think of someone and something that they may hold negative thoughts about such as
blame or resentment - it may be someone who has wronged them or critical thoughts they hold about
themselves. In this exercise if they feel up to initiating thoughts of forgiveness towards these individuals
or themselves, they should initiate the break. There is no need to discuss the actual situation that led to this
position, but it can be a useful lead into deeper analysis where warranted.
Start a simple rhythm and count in the break (4,3,2,1 …). Play the break to symbolise the affirmation,
before going back to the foundation rhythm and someone new initiating the break anew. Do this several
times and finish with people saying and playing the break at the same time. You may want to write the
words of the affirmation on a whiteboard.
R2R TRAINING WORKBOOK VOLUME 2: MUSIC FOR SOCIAL & EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT 59
Post Discussion.
What are the benefits of forgiveness? How can we practice this to gain these rewards for ourselves
and those around us?
According to recent meta-analyses on the effects of forgiveness therapy, forgiveness helped to minimise aspects
of negative affect such as depression, anger, hostility, stress, and distress (Akhtar & Barlow, 2018).
Self-forgiveness is not about letting yourself off the hook, nor is it a sign of weakness. The act of forgiveness,
whether you are forgiving yourself or someone who has wronged you, does not suggest that you are condoning
the behaviour. To forgive yourself, you should:
} Understand your emotions - particularly the difference between guilt and shame
} Accept responsibility for what happened
} Treat yourself with kindness and compassion
} Express remorse for your mistakes
} Make amends and apologise (including apologising to yourself)
} Look for ways to learn from the experience
} Focus on making better choices in the future
Forgiveness means that you accept the behaviour, you accept what has happened, and you are willing to move
past it and move on with your life without ruminating over past events that cannot be changed.
There are times when all of us have been thoughtless, selfish or cruel. But no act is unforgivable; no person is
beyond redemption.
Desmond Tutu
Understanding What We Can Control In Our Lives And What Is Beyond Our Control
An exercise exploring what we can and can’t control in our relationships, and broader lives. And the importance of focusing on those things we can influence, rather than those we cannot.
Rumble on your drum if you accept that there are some things in our lives that we can control, and some things in our lives that we have no control over.
On a whiteboard draw up four columns - over the first two place the heading ‘DRUMMING’ and over the second two ‘RELATIONSHIPS’
Then allocate one column in each of the two sections to ‘CONTROL’ and the other, ‘BEYOND CONTROL’
When we are drumming, we are in relationship with others in the drum-circle, so many parallels can be drawn between the two situations.
Questions
Rumble on your drum if you often spend time worrying about things you can’t control
Rumble on your drum if you often spend time trying to change things you can’t control
Often if we focus on the things we can control, the things we can’t control will change alongside us. Can you think of an example where changing your behaviour can change the behaviour of others? (To get respect you have to give respect etc.)
Teach the break:
WORDS I Can’t Change Everything, that’s true But I’m in charge Of the things I do
TIMING 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4DRUMMING Fl B B - O o O B B O o B B O o O B B
Layer in a rhythm - each person taking responsibility for their own rhythm and how they play it, without
trying to influence others and periodically bring in the musical-break.
Finish by saying the words and the break together.
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as
it is and not as I would have it; etc.
− Reinhold Niebuhr
If Our Rhythms Don’t Meet, You Don’t Have to Bring Your Heat
Many people struggle with rejection, the antithesis to the human need for social connection, recognition, love and belonging. And it is normal to sometimes feel intense feelings of hurt and sadness when people
turn away from us. Most of us can manage these feelings, understanding that not everyone is suited to each other, (not everyone’s rhythms align) and find companionship elsewhere.
However, for some people theses feelings manifest into shame, anger and violence. The rejection becomes highly personalised and the feelings intensify and become all consuming to a point where they are beyond rational control.
‘Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria’ is one form of this issue impacting many
people.
And a significant amount of violence towards women, and partner violence generally, stems from these uncontrolled emotions.
Pre-Discussion: Rumble on your drum if you’ve felt the pain of rejection. Rumble on your drum if that has led to anger. What are some of the ways you might experience rejection? How easy is it to see this as a
personal affront/attack rather than just a normal part of life? What are some of the feelings you get when you’re rejected by others? How difficult do you find it to manage these feelings? Does understanding that
very few people get along with everyone, and it’s normal for many relationships in peoples lives not to work out make sense to you? If we recognise this perhaps we don’t need to take it so personally, and start
to take more responsibility for our feelings rather than blame others.
If our rhythms don’t meet exercise
TIMING 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
Part 1 - Words - If Our Rhythms Don’t Meet You Don’t Have to bring your Heat
Part 1 - Drum B B O o O o B B O o O o O
Part 2 - Words It’s Going to make you blue But don’t let those feelings stew
Part 2 - Drum B B O o O o B B O o O o O
Write the break up on the white-board and discuss. Practice the break several times.
Divide the group in two and separate them slightly.
Give one group a rhythm in four time, e.g.
B O o O o O
And the other half a rhythm in three time, e.g.
B O o O
(These rhythms will meet every 3 or 4 bars depending on which part you are playing).
Help the group recognise when they meet by giving a shout on that connecting Bass note.
Put the rhythms together and then introduce the break, by stopping together on the connecting Bass
note.
Finish by saying and playing the break at the same time
Discussion: We saw in this exercise how hard it is to always find harmony with others, but that doesn’t
mean we need to blame each other or get angry, even though we all felt the frustration when the rhythms
didn’t meet. What are some ways we can manage these feelings of rejection, frustration, shame and
anger? How can we remind ourselves not to take it too personally and respect other peoples decisions
to walk away from us even when it hurts? How does this relate to valuing and respecting each other in
relationships?
Variation
Divide the group in two and separate them slightly.
Choose one person from each side to develop a rhythm of their choice, teaching and then leading their
half of the group - don’t discuss timing or mention the Bass connection!
Put the rhythms together (sometimes they will harmonise, sometimes not, just like our relationships with
different people). Stop the group, every so often, and bring in the break.
I’m Me, He’s He, And there’s Plenty of Room for Diversity
Recognising the fears that stop us moving to the next stage of our journey
towards maturity and growth.
All of us are torn between the comforts of what we know, the safety of the familiar, (convenient rituals,
conventional thinking, and familiar surroundings) and the need to develop, to face the unknown in order
to grow psychologically and spiritually. It is a struggle between lethargy and fear. Fear governs much of
our lives, often seen in a denial of personal responsibility. Standing up to our fears is an essential step
towards personal autonomy.
Courage
In this exercise we ask people to consider some of the fears that are holding them back from moving
forward with their lives, and some of the small steps they can take, exercising courage, to move away
from the bondage of fear towards growth and development.
In this exercise we teach a break where each person around the circle is given an odd or an even number
1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8 etc., and assigned a part as a consequence. You may need to include yourself or not to
ensure you have an even number of participants.
The rhythm is counted down (4,3,2,1j and the Bass played on the first note of each bar by the whole
group. Between each Bass the fill alternates between five tones - B OoOoO and four tones - B Oo-Oo Odd
numbers play the five-tone break and even play the four-tone break alternating each time e.g. B OoOoO
B Oo-Oo repeat
The break represents the words:
B - I can recognise, B - the fears I hold, B - I can find the strength, B - to be bold. Write this up on the
whiteboard, so all can see.
Practice the two parts of the break with the two sections - odd and even, separately. Then put into the
rhythm. On the last round say the words as you play.
Extension
The break can also be played individually around the circle, once confidence is high, by alternating
between people sitting next to each other, one at a time until it goes around the circle (the facilitator
plays if needed to even up the numbers).
Instead of running from difficult feelings, sensations or memories; learning
to live with them, but not beholden to them.
Many of the problems people face in their lives are connected to avoiding painful memories, sensations
and feelings, often linked to traumatic events from the past. Acceptance teaches us to learn to live with
what we can’t change (remember the serenity prayer) and confront our problems by taking actions to
improve our lives in accordance with our values.
We can also use mindfulness to separate the present from the past and separate our thoughts and
feelings from our true selves. We can look dispassionately at our thoughts, feelings, sensations as if
viewing them from afar, so that they no longer control us.
Note: ACT does not mean we ask clients to accept every situation (e.g., abusive relationships), but that some
circumstances should ultimately be accepted (i.e., physical reality or historical events), should be accepted for
now, should be accepted with an expectation of eventual change, or should be changed now.
Acceptance
From a list of feelings, ask your client or the members of your group to pick one they recognise in
themselves as a challenge to deal with, and one they often avoid - shame, grief, despair, anger, jealousy,
etc.
The client (or one person at a time in a group situation) is asked to express that emotion as a phrase on
their drum and once defined repeat it. The counsellor plays along with it, mirroring. The client is then
asked to incorporate that phrase into a rhythm that represents their day-to-day life - something steady,
stable and not overtly emotional - for instance B O B O or B b O o - adding the feeling phrase to their daily
rhythm in a way that allows their daily rhythm to continue unabated but with added texture.
Once the extended rhythm is stabilised the counsellor (or group) combine to play it together.
Discussion
What are some of the thoughts, feelings, sensations, memories you’d most like to get rid of?
What strategies have you used to do that & how successful have they been?
Think about how much time and energy you spend trying to avoid these feelings and where that might
be better spent if you could learn to accept them.
Sometimes the more effort we spend denying our feelings the bigger they grow.
Examining the benefits of a slower pace of life
Pre group discussion.
Many of us recognise that our lives are increasingly busy, that we rush from one thing to the next, and
lead our lives with a sense of urgency as though everything depends on moving quickly - FOMO. Much
of this urgency is directed at the future, and stems in part from a view of time as limited - “So many
opportunities, so little time”. When we shift our focus to the moment, time becomes endless.
Rumble on your drum if you have ever rushed into something that you later came to regret.
} What are some of the consequences of rushing all the time?
} How does it impact our relationship?
} How does it impact our work?
} What are some areas of your life that might benefit from a more relaxed approach?
} What are some active steps we can take to live our lives with more awareness and
consideration?
R2R TRAINING WORKBOOK VOLUME 2: MUSIC FOR SOCIAL & EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT 61
Exercise - Slowing Down
Start off with a rhythm that verges on the edge of complexity for the level of your groups ability e.g. Bb
OoO BbB fl fl , Bb OoO BbB fl
And play this at a reasonably fast tempo, so that many will struggle.
Count-down to stop - 4,3,2,1, STOP and slow the rhythm just a little. Repeat this process until you are
playing the same rhythm very slowly. Then stop.
Post group discussion
} What did you notice as the rhythm slowed? How often do seemingly complex problems
become solvable when we slow things down? Can you think of any examples?
} How did your awareness change of other things around you as the rhythm slowed?
} Do you think this has any relevance to the quality of your relationships?
} What about your sense of calm or its opposite ‘worry’. Did you feel a change there as the
rhythm slowed? How might slowing down reduce feelings of stress?
Good or Not So Good Choices – What makes the difference?
Start with a discussion on the importance of good choices in life. All of us have at times regretted some
of the choices we have made - that’s normal & hopefully we learn from these so as not to repeat them.
What are some of the things that help us make good choices? What can we learn from poor choices?
It’s Your Choice
The practitioner starts a slightly complex rhythm (try the following Bb-bB-O-, Bb-bBoOo-) & the individual
or group is given the option of:
} Joining the rhythm at a time of their choosing
} Joining by playing a different, simpler pattern
} Just sitting back and listening
Note there are no wrong choices - we are just interested in which choice was made and why? How do
these options relate to other important life choices?
Discuss the subject of ‘Choice’ – What made you decide which path to follow? How easy is it to get
pulled into unmanageable situations like a complex rhythm? Did you get caught up in the rhythm? How
often do we make poor choices because we get caught up in something without thinking it through? How
hard is it to distance yourself at times like this, so that you can make good choices?
For those who chose a different rhythm - How hard was it to find an alternative choice (rhythm)? What
helped you maintain the connection?
For those who chose to just observe and listen – when would this be a good choice?
Notation: B – Bass, dominant hand. b – Bass, non-dominant hand. O – Tone, dominant hand. o – Tone, nondominant
hand.
What moves your life forward & what moves it backwards?
Backwards & Forwards
This can be used to look at a wide range of issues where one set of actions moves you towards a positive
goal and another takes you on a less useful (possibly destructive) path, e.g.:
} Healthy Relationships
} Relapse (from drug dependency)
} Personal confidence
} Violence
} Happiness
} Grief
Choose a direction around the circle for forwards and the opposite for backwards. Everyone starts by
playing the Heartbeat rhythm together. The facilitator starts with an air-bump towards the person next
to them in the backwards direction saying one thing from the negative (backwards) column as they do so
– that then stops them playing - this sequence is continued around the circle in the backwards direction
until only the last person is playing (isolated and alone).
Then move in the opposite direction (forwards) this time with a fist bump or high five while saying
something positive to bring your neighbour into the rhythm. This starts to connect the group – and so
the process repeats until all are connected.
Discussion - Finish by emphasising the different elements that undermine connection and negativity
impact our intention and those that cement it.
This exercise is used to look at empathy and how understanding the impact of bullying can help us
respond better in supporting victims. What is empathy? The ability to understand and share the feelings
of another.
Elements of Empathy:
} Observe
} Tune In
} Relate
} Connect
} Reach Out
Imagine It Was You - Use the ‘Rumble If….’
The facilitator should describe a number of experiences (related to loss or victimisation) and ask the
group to rumble on their drum if they can identify with each of the emotions that might be garnered for
an individual experiencing that event. The group rumble in empathy with the individuals in the scenarios
and then name the emotions they may have felt.
Examples:
1. Rumble if you can imagine how it might feel to have very few friends - What might you be
feeling?
2. Rumble if you can imagine how it might feel to not know where your next meal is coming
from - What might you be feeling?
3. Rumble if you can, imagine how it might feel if you felt everyone was laughing at you - What
might you be feeling?
After giving some examples ask the students to come up with their own scenarios
Discuss the concept of empathy.
} What is empathy?
} How does it affect the way we act towards others?
} What if people have little empathy, how do they act?
} How hard is it to have a respectful relationship with someone with little empathy for
others?
} What might help someone to develop more empathy?
Begin by discussing how different communities’ initiate youth into adulthood and why.
Using the white-board, draw up two columns - ‘Community Responsibilities’ & ‘Individual Freedoms’
Examine and name a list of important community responsibilities followed by individual freedoms.
Represent the former by the Bass note (we all have a responsibility to meet here) and represent individual
freedom on the edge of the drum (give people the freedom to play accents on the edge of the drum
however they wish).
Start a Bass pulse and allow people to join as they wish.
After a little while repeat without the Bass and look at what happens to community and relationships
generally without recognition of our obligations towards each other and our environment.
Note: This is a useful exercise in family therapy where we look at family obligations, and how they support trust
and stability.
Standing up to Bullying
‘Keep your Distance’ This exercise is used to examine bullying and other issues associated with negative
peer influence. It is only played when the facilitator knows the group and can identify that people
have enough resilience to accept a role-play on this topic without getting triggered, as it replicates
how we respond to aggression.
Discuss the prevalence of bullying and what motivates it (power & social influence). What are some of
the different forms bullying takes? What are some of the consequences of bullying? Discuss the intrinsic
need for belonging and the subsequent power of peer influence. Many people, young and old, find
themselves compromising their values because of this need for acceptance among peers.
Explain that this game has two parts, that are usually done in consecutive sessions, but can be
done together.
Part 1
We are looking for someone who feels they are able to withstand a bit of negativity to play the victim
in this exercise (be careful about choosing someone who has a history of victimisation - the individual
chosen to play the victim is identified by the facilitator after time spent with the group as someone with
appropriate resilience).
The volunteer is blindfolded and placed in the centre of the circle with instruction on backing away from
the rhythm that represents bullying behaviour (3 sharp flams). One person is chosen as the leader of the
bullies and can co-opt others to join him by looking at them. Everyone plays a soft foundation rhythm
unless they are invited to join the bullying gang. The victim must back away from any aggression – as
more and more people join the bullying there is less room to hide!
Stop the exercise after a short time and explore the following questions:
} How did it feel in the middle? Can you relate this to how a victim of bullying might feel?
} What are some of the feelings victims of bullying might experience?
} What allows some people to avoid these feelings despite negative things happening to
them?
} How did it feel to get pulled into the bullying gang? Did anyone try to avoid this?
R2R TRAINING WORKBOOK VOLUME 2: MUSIC FOR SOCIAL & EMOTIONAL DEVELOPMENT 39
Part 2
Revisit the exercise by reminding people of the first sequence and discussion.
Then practice with the group a ‘Rhythm of Courage’ until they can play it tightly (try BbBbB; it should
sound comforting not sharp). The same person in the middle plays the victim and the same person
plays the leader of the bully gang but this time the rest of the group are given the option of offering
sanctuary to the victim by playing their rhythm of courage if they haven’t first been co-opted by the bully.
Once you start playing the ‘rhythm of courage’ you can co-opt others into joining you by looking at them.
The victim can find a place of safety by sheltering close to those playing the rhythm of courage.
Play the 2nd part of the exercise for a few minutes and then examine the following questions:
} How did the experience of having a place of safety change the experience for the victim
from part one?
} What changes did people make in the way they played their parts from when we did this
exercise in session 3, and why?
} Any new insights into the role of the bystander from doing this exercise again.
First discuss the types of situations that give rise to people feeling “trapped’. Maybe trapped in an uninspiring
job, or by others’ expectations, or in an unhealthy relationship or by a lack of financial resources, etc.
One person volunteers to go into the middle blindfolded.
Start a rhythm phrase going around the circle one drum at a time and ensure you have a range of
percussion as well as drums. The players, play one at a time, not together, and play the same sound
each time it goes around. The volunteer is encouraged carefully to listen to the group. After 3 – 4 rounds
remove the volunteer from the circle and indicate to one player to remove themselves and their chair
from the circle, silently, leaving a clear exit space.
Bring the volunteer back to the middle of the circle – this time their aim is to identify the hole in the circle
as the players repeat the sequence and leave the circle via that open space.
Discuss
What does it feel like to be trapped and not know where to turn?
What can help you find a way out when you feel trapped?
Sometimes you are blind to the road to escape but others can see. Sometimes you need to listen carefully
and trust your instincts. Sometimes you need to consider all the options before choosing a way out.
Go back to some of the scenarios your participants mentioned before and come up with some ideas for
escape.
Alternatively One person is blindfolded in the middle of the circle and a hole made in the circle ( a player
removes themselves and their chair silently). The blindfolded player must find the escape route with the
help of the remaining participants who play their drums softly when they are far from the escape route
and increase the volume as the person nears the escape route.
Finding a safe place when there’s nowhere to land.
Sometimes when life becomes unpredictable, and we can’t find our feet, we may need to go into a holding
pattern to find some certainty, and conserve energy - a rhythm that will help us maintain our equilibrium
and prevent us from crashing. This might mean structuring our day around certain routines, staying
close to supportive friends, keeping fit and healthy, or any other patterns of behaviour that offer you a
sense of health & stability. Having a holding pattern gives you a safe place from which to observe the
world around you, a place from which you can plot and trial new landing strategies, a place from which
to observe the safest landing strips and a place where you can return to when your attempts to land fail.
Teach the group a specific rhythm or ask a participant to suggest one, and name this as our ‘Holding
pattern’ (see examples below). Note: The holding pattern should always start with a Bass note – the Bass
being a place of safety & security.
TIMING 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4
H Pattern 1 B - Fl Fl B O o O - B - Fl Fl B O o O -
H Pattern 2 B b B b B b B O - B b B b B b B O -
H Pattern 3 B O o o O B O o O o O B O o o O B O o O o O
B = Bass (dominant hand). O = Tone (dominant hand) b = Bass (non-dominant). o = Tone (non-dominant).
Then agree on two signals: One for a landing attempt, it might be a call on the drum or a hand signal, and
this asks everyone to let go of the ‘holding pattern’ and freely improvise.
One for returning to the ‘holding pattern’. If the improvised playing holds together you can continue for
a while and bring the rhythm to a stop before further discussion. If the improvised playing is chaotic give
a signal for returning to the ‘holding pattern’, and repeat until the improvisation locks together - this can
take several attempts.
Discuss with the group how it felt amongst the chaos to return to the holding pattern.
Find examples from the group of the different patterns they might use to regain stability when life
becomes uncertain. Examine the need to often make a series of false landings before you find the right
one - what might indicate that the time is right to venture out beyond the safety of your holding pattern?
With the chairs still close, introduce a new rhythm:
Either
BbBbB O followed by BbBbB Oo or
B Clap O followed by BB clap clap Oo followed by BB clap,clap,clap OoO
Practice one of these combinations with the tones played on your neighbours drum in a specific direction
Then appoint a change master who can swap the direction of where the Tones will be played by yelling ‘CHANGE’ when the whole group is playing on the Bass - showcase a couple of examples before putting control in the hands of one of these combinations group participants
Discuss the importance of kindness and its reciprocal nature - kindness generates kindness in return.
In todays world it’s easy to focus on our own needs and undervalue the needs of others. We can forget that in this world we all need each other.
Ask for examples where people have helped out a friend or a stranger and felt the reward that entailed or when they have been helped out themselves.
In this exercise we are going to add a break
Are you OK? - Oo O O. Followed by Can I help? - Fl,Fl,Fl
We play around a foundation rhythm and then bring in the break - returning to the rhythm after a one count rest.
Finish by saying and playing the break at the same time
Discuss: What are some of the simple ways we can show kindness towards others? What makes it sometimes hard to offer help to others? What makes it hard to ask for help when you might need it?
Are you in or Are you out?
In this game three people start by playing a rhythm together.
Note: 2 – 3 people should be playing at all times.
Then one person is chosen and can either invite another group member to join the rhythm through a nod of the head in their direction and mouthing the words ‘come on in’, or exclude someone by shaking
their head towards someone already playing and mouthing the word ‘Stop’.
If you choose to exclude someone, then you must follow up by inviting someone new to join.
Each time a new person enters the rhythm they can invite one other person to join with a nod (come on in) or exclude someone (stop playing) with a shake of their head (you can exclude an existing player or
someone waiting to join).
Each playing member can only invite or exclude one other member each.
Ask people to focus on their feelings when they include or exclude someone or have that done to themselves by another.
Discussion:
How did it feel to be included or excluded? What sort of things lead to people being excluded? How hard is it to be generous towards others and include them when others are excluding them? How easy is it to
include those who are going through tough times?
When you exclude someone do you reveal something about yourself?
Are there times it might be wise to exclude someone?
Gossip - This exercise focuses on the way rumours spread and the damage they cause.
Start a relatively complex pattern on your drum (in your head use that to represent an innocent statement such as “Amber said she really likes spending time with James” and then send it around the room - watch
how it changes.
Play the final interpretation back to the group and explain that what I said originally was something innocent, but that as it spread it changed to something hurtful (“Amber is sleeping with James” or find
your own suitable example).
Discuss the impact of rumours on people’s self-esteem
What are some of the reasons these messages might change and become hurtful rumours?
How could or should you confront a rumour?
Try the activity again, this time with two patterns following each other – sometimes when you receive too much information it’s impossible to remember it all.
Find Your Way Home - Listen for the Silence (Adapted from Arthur Hull).
Explain that home in this exercise means a place where you feel comfortable and secure, it maybe
your home, but it may also be somewhere else (like being with people you trust) or just a state
of mind (where you feel grounded and in control). And note this is not a competition - if you can’t
find your chair, that is quite OK.
Everyone should play the heartbeat rhythm of their choice (Heartbeat plus accents – see page 52) while
one member at a time leaves their chair, enters the circle and tries to locate their empty chair with their
eyes closed – prior to searching they first orientate themselves, facing their chair eyes open, then close
their eyes and turn on the spot three times to disorientate themselves. They keep their eyes shut from
then on until they complete the exercise.
When you leave your chair, move your drum out of the way – so you can locate your seat.
Participants must hold the same rhythm when someone is in the circle, but can change their rhythm each time
a new person enters if they wish. Focus on soft drumming
Lead a discussion on finding a reference point to get back home or to a place of safety when you feel
lost, down and out, or disorientated. What helped you locate your empty chair? How important was it not
to give up? How important was it to trust yourself? Did you get support from others in any way? Did you
have to rely on your own ingenuity? What did it feel like if you couldn’t get back?
Rumble if you have ever felt lost or out of place? What strategies did you use to help you find your chair?
How do these relate to helping you find your place when you feel lost or confused in life? Can other
people, friends and family help you find your place? How do the rhythms of your life impact your ability
to find your place? How important is your own self-confidence & self-belief in finding your place?
Without anyone else knowing appoint a rhythm silencer. I usually ask people to bow their heads and walk
around the back of the circle tapping one person on their shoulder.
Start a rhythm and the chosen person has to wink people from the rhythm without being discovered.
The rest of the group have to discover who is the wink murderer but they can only start to guess once
2 people have been silenced and they only have one guess each, and if they guess wrong, they are out
(silenced).
The aim is for people to remove as many players as possible without being discovered.
Call and Converse – This becomes more of a conversation, but again players are asked to focus on
attunement – reading each other’s emotional level and replying appropriately.
Call and Answer – This gives people an opportunity to answer the call in their own way, often with a
reply that is different to the ‘Call’ but complimentary. Similarities in terms of volume, duration and tone
are emphasised.
Place the drums on stands if possible. The drums should be similar size.
Arrange in a circle around a metre between each drum
Remove chairs - participants stand behind their drum.
BREAK & JUMP EXERCISE
Determine which direction you will move and practice the ‘break’
Play improvised music around a Bass pulse or the Heartbeat Rhythm together.
One at a time each person counts down to the break - 4,3,21,
The Break - you can get the participants to come up with a break prior to beginning or use the one below
B - O o, B - O o, B B B jump
Jump, Clap ( jump first and add the clap for extra coordination later)
So after playing the break together a s a group, each person jumps across to the drum on their left before returning to the Bass note and resuming improvised play.
After each person has had a turn finish with one final jump on their left spot and a shout of “Jump”
Dr Peter Levine looked at the way animals release trauma through the body, literally by shaking it off. Examples - bird caught by a cat or a deer by a leopard if they survive, they often send a shiver through their body before going about their business. Shaking can help release repressed feelings and the associated tension that is held in the body.
Shake in the Break
Practice shaking, starting with the hands and then extending though the whole body.
Divide the group in two - one half will shake while the other half play in double-time during the break.
Practice playing in double time - like a rumble on the Tone notes at around 300 bpm
The group play a foundation rhythm e.g., B O B O
And this is interrupted by a break (4,3,2,1) where:
· One side keeps playing (double time) while the rest shake
· Then come back together
· Then another break and reverse roles
Points for best shaking!
Also see - Parable of The Old Mule in the Well
A parable is told of a farmer who owned an old mule. The mule fell into the farmer's well. The farmer heard the mule 'braying' -or-whatever mules do when they fall into wells. After carefully assessing the situation, the farmer sympathised with the mule, but decided that neither the mule nor the well was worth the trouble of saving. Instead, he called his neighbours together and told them what had happened ...and enlisted them to help haul dirt to bury the old mule in the well and put him out of his misery. Initially, the old mule was hysterical! But as the farmer and his neighbours continued shovelling and the dirt hit his back ... a thought struck him. It suddenly dawned on him that every time a shovel load of dirt landed on his back, he should shake it off and step up! This he did, blow after blow. "Shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up...shake it off and step up!" He repeated to encourage himself. No matter how painful the blows, or how distressing the situation seemed the old mule fought "panic" and just kept right on shaking it off and stepping up! It wasn't long before the old mule, battered and exhausted, stepped triumphantly over the wall of that well! What seemed like it would bury him, actually blessed him...all because of the manner in which he handled his adversity.
If we face our problems, respond to them positively, and refuse to give in to panic, bitterness, or self-pity, the adversities that come along to bury us usually have within them the potential to benefit and bless us.
Arrange drums & chairs in a circle around a metre between each drum
BREAK & Move EXERCISE
Determine which direction you will move and practice the ‘break’
Play improvised music around a Bass pulse or the Heartbeat Rhythm together.
One at a time each person counts down to the break - 4,3,21, Move!
Everyone moves one chair in the same direction. There is a three count break in which to move (1,2,3) and then the improvisation starts on the bass.
The Break - you can get the participants to come up with a break prior to beginning or use the one below
B - O o, B - O o, B B B move
Adaption - replace a drum with a percussion instrument on every second chair.
Pair people up and give them a set amount of time to come up with an interactive rhythm featuring:
1 x High Five, 1 x Fist Bump, 1 shared vocal - must be able to be repeated rhythmically and have flow.