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Using the Four Bass Break exercise to look at the values that support healthy relationships.
First brainstorm a list of values on a white-board using the question - what's one thing really important to you in your relationships with other people?
Then from this list prioritise four core values that the group agree are really central to a healthy relationship - there may be a little compromise needed here.
Then teach the 'Four Bass Break' - counting down 4,3,2,1 and hitting the Bass note four times with three counts of silence in-between each one before returning to the rhythm.
Once this is mastered, add the words in order between each Bass.
Finish one last time with the break.
Taking back power after loss.
Sometimes events leave us feeling like we have no autonomy or power, particularly after we have experienced a significant loss.
We will invite you to reclaim your power by entering the circle and playing on the large Bass Drums, supported by the rest of the circle.
In this exercise we place one or two large drums with mallets in the middle of the circle.
The group start a foundation rhythm and at any stage a person can enter the circle (or you may like to
schedule people one at a time) and play on the powerful Bass Drums, asserting their power.
Post group discussion
Share with the participants how it felt to take back power in this way and be supported by the rest of the
group. What other ways could help regain the ground you lost?
DREAM CATCHER - Sharing hopes & Fears
The dream catcher was traditionally used by the Ojibway in North America to protect young children
against bad dreams (spirits) that were ever circulating in the atmosphere.
They believed also that good dreams surrounded us as well - the dream catcher caught all dreams and
sorted them, only allowing the good ones through.
In this game we share good and bad dreams, catching the bad ones before they dominate us and
welcoming the good ones.
Each person represents their own ‘dream catcher’. Play ‘Rumble Ball” (imaginary ball game).
When the ball comes your way, you have a choice to:
} Catch it - and name a fear you have for the future or
} Open your arms wide and accept it - and then name a positive dream (hope) you have for
the future
At the conclusion draw attention to any commonalities between the group members and discuss -
ensure a balance between hopes and fears.
How important is it to share your fears? How important is it to hold onto your dreams?
When we first play the drums, we are not very conscious of the sound we are making.
We are playing the drums and like play, we are having fun, we are creating, we are using our imagination and the rewards are intrinsic.
As we gain confidence on our drum, we start to identify different sounds (tones) on the drum that sit, feel and sound more comfortable to us.
Some sounds can feel uncomfortable, for instance, sharp sounds that pierce us or weak sounds that lack clarity.
As we grow as people, mature, experience life, and find our place in the world we do the same thing - we let go of things that don’t sound true to us and seek out those that do.
Our values clarify, and when we find our true voice, we are better able to speak for what we truly believe, what we truly feel and who we truly are, rather than getting manipulated by the views and opinions of others. It is through this growing awareness that we find security in knowing who we really are (our true selves) and can let go of the anxiety that comes from feeling judged by others and not knowing which way to turn.
It is a bit like the move from learning the rhythms others teach you to finding your own rhythm. In this exercise we bring that greater awareness to the sound we are making on our drum - moving from just playing the drum to activating the drum and allowing it to speak for us.
Play your ‘Bass’ note now (ensure your drum is open) and find the resonance of the note that is comfortable, and sounds and feels good to you - every day that might change a little.
Now play your ‘Tone’ note and do the same thing - move your hands around the edge of the drum until you get a clear tone sound that sits comfortably, feels and sounds good, to you.
Do this every time you play - adjust your voice so it feels true to you
Now let’s play. Start a simple rhythm, (O o O, O o B), playing at a steady tempo, or any one of the R2R foundation rhythms, and ask people to play around that with this new focus on the sound emanating from their drum. Ask people to focus particularly on the Bass sound, and how that cements the groove - unifies and connects the group. Settle into the rhythm, finding your sound and your place - getting comfortable, in the moment.
Moving away from the conditioned responses of the past
All of us have histories and conditioning from the past that impacts our behaviour and thus our lives in
unconscious ways. These generally stem from the disempowered world of the child. In order to live our
lives fully and to function as autonomous members of society we need to recognise these influences,
observe them in our daily lives, for good or for worse, that keep resurfacing. In order to break free of
these histories we have to bring them to consciousness. This often means facing our childhood fears and
the lethargy of inaction.
Breaking Free Exercise
Ask people to think about some of these unconscious behaviours they recognise in themselves, that
maybe negatively impacting their lives or relationships.
Some common issues maybe:
} I am not good enough, so I have low expectations, avoid risk, keep a low profile, and maybe
tend to self-sabotage
} My child self was neglected, so I make up for it by seeking power through material
acquisition or power over others
} I compensate for feelings of neglect and insecurity through the constant need for
reassurance from others
} Other addictive patterns that fill the want within - compensating for the pain of loss.
Choose a simple rhythm and make it clear that this symbolises these reoccurring, historically driven,
behaviours we have discussed.
As they play the rhythm (together, or in one-to-one work with you as their therapist) ask them to name
these patterns (taking responsibility).
Then ask them to break away from the rhythm (the facilitator/therapist maintains the original rhythm)
without losing total connection, but moving away into a new pattern of their own.
Fade away to close.
Discussion
How did that feel? What helped you find the courage to break free? How important was first taking
ownership of the original rhythm? How might you do a similar thing with these problematic patterns in
real life?
Understanding What We Can Control In Our Lives And What Is Beyond Our Control
An exercise exploring what we can and can’t control in our relationships, and broader lives. And the importance of focusing on those things we can influence, rather than those we cannot.
Rumble on your drum if you accept that there are some things in our lives that we can control, and some things in our lives that we have no control over.
On a whiteboard draw up four columns - over the first two place the heading ‘DRUMMING’ and over the second two ‘RELATIONSHIPS’
Then allocate one column in each of the two sections to ‘CONTROL’ and the other, ‘BEYOND CONTROL’
When we are drumming, we are in relationship with others in the drum-circle, so many parallels can be drawn between the two situations.
Questions
Rumble on your drum if you often spend time worrying about things you can’t control
Rumble on your drum if you often spend time trying to change things you can’t control
Often if we focus on the things we can control, the things we can’t control will change alongside us. Can you think of an example where changing your behaviour can change the behaviour of others? (To get respect you have to give respect etc.)
Teach the break:
WORDS I Can’t Change Everything, that’s true But I’m in charge Of the things I do
TIMING 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4 1 2 3 4DRUMMING Fl B B - O o O B B O o B B O o O B B
Layer in a rhythm - each person taking responsibility for their own rhythm and how they play it, without
trying to influence others and periodically bring in the musical-break.
Finish by saying the words and the break together.
The Serenity Prayer
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things I can, and the
wisdom to know the difference, living one day at a time; enjoying one moment at a time; taking this world as
it is and not as I would have it; etc.
− Reinhold Niebuhr
Begin by discussing how different communities’ initiate youth into adulthood and why.
Using the white-board, draw up two columns - ‘Community Responsibilities’ & ‘Individual Freedoms’
Examine and name a list of important community responsibilities followed by individual freedoms.
Represent the former by the Bass note (we all have a responsibility to meet here) and represent individual
freedom on the edge of the drum (give people the freedom to play accents on the edge of the drum
however they wish).
Start a Bass pulse and allow people to join as they wish.
After a little while repeat without the Bass and look at what happens to community and relationships
generally without recognition of our obligations towards each other and our environment.
Note: This is a useful exercise in family therapy where we look at family obligations, and how they support trust
and stability.
Discuss the importance of kindness and its reciprocal nature - kindness generates kindness in return.
In todays world it’s easy to focus on our own needs and undervalue the needs of others. We can forget that in this world we all need each other.
Ask for examples where people have helped out a friend or a stranger and felt the reward that entailed or when they have been helped out themselves.
In this exercise we are going to add a break
Are you OK? - Oo O O. Followed by Can I help? - Fl,Fl,Fl
We play around a foundation rhythm and then bring in the break - returning to the rhythm after a one count rest.
Finish by saying and playing the break at the same time
Discuss: What are some of the simple ways we can show kindness towards others? What makes it sometimes hard to offer help to others? What makes it hard to ask for help when you might need it?
Find Your Way Home - Listen for the Silence (Adapted from Arthur Hull).
Explain that home in this exercise means a place where you feel comfortable and secure, it maybe
your home, but it may also be somewhere else (like being with people you trust) or just a state
of mind (where you feel grounded and in control). And note this is not a competition - if you can’t
find your chair, that is quite OK.
Everyone should play the heartbeat rhythm of their choice (Heartbeat plus accents – see page 52) while
one member at a time leaves their chair, enters the circle and tries to locate their empty chair with their
eyes closed – prior to searching they first orientate themselves, facing their chair eyes open, then close
their eyes and turn on the spot three times to disorientate themselves. They keep their eyes shut from
then on until they complete the exercise.
When you leave your chair, move your drum out of the way – so you can locate your seat.
Participants must hold the same rhythm when someone is in the circle, but can change their rhythm each time
a new person enters if they wish. Focus on soft drumming
Lead a discussion on finding a reference point to get back home or to a place of safety when you feel
lost, down and out, or disorientated. What helped you locate your empty chair? How important was it not
to give up? How important was it to trust yourself? Did you get support from others in any way? Did you
have to rely on your own ingenuity? What did it feel like if you couldn’t get back?
Rumble if you have ever felt lost or out of place? What strategies did you use to help you find your chair?
How do these relate to helping you find your place when you feel lost or confused in life? Can other
people, friends and family help you find your place? How do the rhythms of your life impact your ability
to find your place? How important is your own self-confidence & self-belief in finding your place?
Response ability - ability to respond appropriately
A Pledge of Responsibility - A transition ritual for changing levels of maturity.
Discuss the fact that all of us have at times found ourselves acting irresponsibly and that as we age, mature and reach new degrees of independence we need to take on more responsibility towards others in our communities. It is only when we recognise this that we can change things for the better in our lives.
Note: it is important the facilitator/s play an active and equal part in this exercise.
Hand out two pieces of paper and ask people to write on one, an area where they recognise they have been irresponsible (offer some examples). On the other, they write something they pledge to do in future that follows a course of more responsible behaviour.
In the middle of the circle place a rubbish bin or similar container
Tell the group that we will play together, and at any stage they can stop and walk to the middle and place their past irresponsibility’s in the bin. Emphasise just one person at a time does this and only if they are truly committed to abandoning that behaviour.
Start by layering in a rhythm, and play together as an improvised group. When all who are likely to act on this have done so, then lower the volume and facilitate a regular count of silence into the rhythm, (stopping for 2 bars and resuming). In each gap of silence, one person at a time, (usually starting with the facilitator) will say out loud their new intention. Once all have had their turn resume drumming, lower the volume and bring to a close.
At the end ask people to sit for a minute’s silence, and reflect on their pledge.
Discuss the importance of responsibility in life generally, and how it relates to trust, social cohesion and freedom.
There are a number of affirmation exercises in the R2R resource kit where people can commit to an action or belief through the symbolism of a rhythmic phrase. Research has demonstrated how activities such as these can impact motivation and self-belief through direct changes to the neural system, in much the same way as visualisation.
Discuss the challenges of taking responsibility, Responsibility requires pivoting from blaming external factors to empowering internal forces. Discuss the connection between Responsibility & Blame and Responsibility & Trust.
What are some of the benefits of responsibility? Responsibility is important because it provides a sense of purpose, in addition to building resilience amidst adversity on an individual and societal level.
Like an addiction, sidestepping responsibility may feel good in the short-term, but leads to exponentially worse pain and suffering in the long term.
‘IF IT IS TO BE - THEN IT IS UP TO ME’ Exercise
This is an exercise that looks at behavioural change and self-responsibility
The phrase - O o O - o O, B b B - b B is practiced, which represents the theme ‘If it is to be - Then it’s up to me’. Divide the group and half call out with the Tones and the other reply on their Bass.
A flowing rhythm starts (which represents the flow of life), & the practitioner tells the group that he/she will interrupt that flow with a count-down 4,3,2,1, STOP, just like problems or challenges that surface from time to time in our own lives. To resume the flow, the group will play the break 3 times – ‘If it is to be, then its’ up to me’ (taking responsibility to find the solutions, make the right choices or seek help).
Finish by having everyone say the phrase over the top of the break.
This is an exercise we use to look at goal setting and how we move forward with small steps and consolidate these prior to each new change. Can you think of examples where you have achieved something this way? e.g.- saving up for something you want to purchase, getting to know a new friend.
From Little Things, Big Things Grow Exercise
Warn musicians not to think about this exercise musically – do not count beats!
One person starts a rhythm with one beat or sound (everyone follows). Each subsequent person adds one extra step (sound, beat), to extend the sequence. The facilitator keeps count of the number of successive sounds, so we increase one with each new person. (8-12 is about the average before it gets too difficult).
Emphasise the following:
• It is OK to play each rhythm really slowly before speeding up
• Allow each rhythm time to stabilise before adding the next note – relate this to the importance of consolidation between steps.
• It is OK to stop and try out some different patterns before becoming fluid in the new rhythm
• It is OK to ask for silence while you work out your next step
• It is OK to ask someone to help you recall the sequence so far and help you plan your next step
Note: these steps are also useful when we are working through change. Also, be sure to make it fun - it is not a test!
Discuss the way small steps can lead to great achievements, with relevance to personal growth. Use this exercise to look at ‘Goal Setting’ for individuals in relation to addressing a specific issue & moving forward in life. What are some of the small steps you might utilise to work towards the change you want to see in your life? What are some of the pressures faced by people as they try to change? How often to people struggle with change because they move too fast, often driven by other’s expectations? How easy is it to just give up/ How can we best help people with the change they are addressing?
Our thinking patterns (rhythms) have a big impact on how we see and negotiate the world and the people around us. Most of us have a way of looking at life that see things as broadly positive, there are set backs of course when we get disillusioned, but these periods don’t generally last that long. For others life is often viewed very negatively and this rhythm of thinking dominates their lives.
In positive psychology this is known as our ‘explanatory style’. People with an optimistic explanatory style tend to give themselves credit when good things happen, but typically blame outside forces for bad outcomes. They also tend to see negative events as temporary and atypical. On the other hand, individuals with a pessimistic explanatory style often blame themselves when bad things happen, but fail to give themselves adequate credit for successful outcomes. They have a tendency to view negative events as expected and lasting. Blaming yourself for events outside of your control or viewing these unfortunate events as a persistent part of your life can have a detrimental impact on your state of mind.
Positive thinking is linked to a wide range of health benefits including:
• Longer life span
• Less stress
• Lower rates of depression
• Increased resistance to the common cold
• Better stress management and coping skills
• Lower risk of cardiovascular disease-related death
• Increased physical well-being
• Better psychological health
‘Yes, I Can’
Ask each person in your group to think of one goal they often find themselves thinking that they can’t achieve.
Perhaps it is stopping drinking, or forming a good relationship, or passing an exam, making the sports team or being a good mum.
How does this frame of mind determine its own outcome?
How does it stack up against the idea of a life of learning and mistakes being learning opportunities?
Can you think of situations where you struggled initially but went on to succeed?
In this exercise we are going to practice the drum break - Fl BB, Fl BB, Fl. Standing for Yes, I can, Yes, I can, Yes!
Keeping your goal front of mind each-time we play the break.
Practice the break (not too fast). Then start a foundation rhythm and introduce it on a count 4,3,2,1
Invite individuals to bring in the break if they recognise this type of negative thinking sometimes gets them down – “count it in if you can relate to this” - 4,3,2,1
Do this several times and then finish with the break and people saying the words Yes, I can, Yes, I can, Yes!
The Appreciation Chair - using the 'Speaker's Chair' routine.
This exercise can be challenging for some people and should only be done when a group has bonded well.
Three things are critical to the success of this exercise:
1. The group has bonded positively
2. Everyone needs to be appreciated evenly - after three things come from three different group members the person in the chair calls the rhythm back in - 1,2,Let's all play!'
3. Group members are asked not to say anything too quickly, but to think more deeply about what they appreciate about the person in the chair. That way the silence represents deeper thinking and the comments become more meaningful.
Play the 'Speaker's Chair' and each time someone enters the chair the group says (3 things) what they appreciate about them. Try to focus on charachter traits rather than physical appearance or possessions.
Note - At the end of the session people may write down what was said about them and carry it with them for a while.
The Ego Trap – this is an adapted version for the ‘Speakers Chair’.
Each person who enters the ‘Speakers Chair’ says one thing they do well (strength) and one thing they know they can work on (lesser strength).
Discussion: How hard is it to accept our strengths and put them to good use? How easy is it to accept our weaknesses and commit to improving on them?
Note: Avoid self-criticism and phrases such as I’m no good or I’m bad. Use the phrase – “Something I’m working on is….”
Find Your Neighbours Strength – Sometimes we need others to alert us to our own strengths. Ask people to look to their neighbour (allocate a direction) and think about a strength you see in that person then play the ‘Find Your Strengths’ Game in the same way except when it is your turn, you will face your partner and say one strength you see in them, rather than your own. Finish in the same way by playing the break together and all shouting out the word 'Strengths'.
Note: it is sometimes good to do this in both directions so everyone can be complimented.
Discuss the concept of Strength-Based Practice and Positive Psychology. Helping people focus on their strengths and other people’s strengths improves self-esteem and improves relationships. This helps give some balance back to those who are overly self-critical and provides a platform of achievement for future growth. Those who are more aware of and better at utilising their strengths are markedly happier and more successful. Focusing on others’ strengths enable our relationships to be at their best.
There are six groups of strengths: 1. Wisdom & Knowledge: creativity, curiosity, open-mindedness, love of learning, perspective 2. Courage: bravery, persistence, integrity, zest 3. Love & Humanity: love, kindness, social intelligence 4. Justice: citizenship, fairness, leadership 5. Temperance: forgiveness and mercy, humility, prudence, self-control 6. Spirituality and Transcendence: appreciation of beauty & excellence, gratitude, hope,
FIND YOUR STRENGTHS
Ask people to look at a list of strengths (or use strength cards) and pick one area of strength - something they recognise in themselves, that they are good at, (if possible, convert to a one-word phrase). If it’s not on the chart, or card, they can identify something for themselves.
Play a foundation rhythm of your choice and teach the group how to count down to a break of B - B - BB – - (4,3,2,1, B-B-BB-). There is a one-count rest after the final Bass note before the rhythm resumes.
One at a time have each participant count down the rhythm and in this final gap they shout out their signature strength, before the group resume the foundation rhythm.
Finish with everyone counting down and yelling the word ‘Strengths’ in unison.
Discuss: What brings you to life? • What energises you? • What do you do that comes most easily to you? • On what do other people compliment you? • What is the very best in you? • When do you feel most you? In answering these questions, encourage people to reflect upon some specific, real-life situations where they have utilised one or more of the strengths listed.
4 On & 4 Off - Examining Risk
Pre-Discussion - Often we think of risk-taking as something negative, but growth across our lives generally involves a bit of risk - stepping out into the unknown, making yourself vulnerable and trying something new. What are some of the things you recall doing for the first time that involved some risk but were important to your own development?
In this exercise we are going to use the idea of taking a solo on your drum to represent the risks we may need to take at different times in our lives to move forward. But we will also mitigate that risk a little by having the rest of the group hold the Heartbeat for you during your solo. Often when we need to take risks we can put in place measures to ensure we don't fall too far if the risk fails (like a safety net.
Remind people of the basics of the Heartbeat rhythms, then layer in one at a time, allowing people to add their own accents to the Heartbeat foundation.
Heartbeat Solo exercise
Once they are happy improvising tell them that we will play eight rounds - e.g. 4 x the Heartbeat plus accents, and then four rounds of silence with just the Bass pulse & no accents – practice this a few times until they get the timing.
Once comfortable with this sequence (you can still count what round they are up to so they all know when the gap is coming), get them to improvise in pairs in the four rounds of silence – one pair at a time, before everyone returns for the next 4 bars. Then move to individual solos.
Discuss with the group how it felt to go out on a limb, and the types of risks they can envisage needing to take into the future. How important was the group holding the Bass pulse for you?
What are some of things you might do to reduce the consequences of taking these risks if they don't come off as planned?
Try not to use technical musical language – notation etc. – just help them get a feel for the timing.
This is an affirmation game that explores personal power or agency over one's life - many individuals in R2R sessions experience a sense of powerlessness.
Start with a discussion: How can we help people find a sense of power over their own destiny? What are some of the ways you do this for yourself and are they transferable? Can focusing on our strengths be a useful strategy. What about goal setting?
'I've got the Power' exercise
Important that prior to embarking on this game we have established that people do have different ways to assert power over their lives, through the choices they make - often attending an R2R program is one of those choices.
The group practice the two phrases:
Oo-Oo-O (I've got the power) Note this phrase has a swing to it
Fl,Fl,Fl. (Yes, you have)
Then everyone plays a foundation rhythm and at any stage anyone can play the drum phrase for I've got the power (emphasise playing it loud & proud) - when they do, it is answered by the group with the drum phrase 'Yes you have'.
Finish the exercise with everyone playing and saying the two parts together (change the word ‘you’ to ‘I’)
Affirmation games are good for embedding learning concepts: reinforced by rhythmical repetition, similar to the way we learn the letters of the alphabet or sing the team song at the end of a football game.
As well as simply having fun and energising the group, we can use musical chairs to look at problem solving.
Each time you shift seats, lower the volume and ask the group to re-examine what they are hearing, feeling, seeing from this new position. At the end of the exercise discuss how changing your position allows you to see things in a different way and sometimes we need to do that with the problems we have in life.
Questions: Are you someone who finds it easy to see the other side of things or do you tend to see things from one perspective and find it hard to change? Can you think of a problem you have in your life that might be better looked at from another angle?
The Values Rhythm exercise
Ask people to think of something important to them in their relationships with others e.g.,
respect, trust, love. Then use the number of syllables in their word to make a rhythm – e.g.
Care – 1 syllable; Love – 2 syllables; Honesty – 3 syllables; Forgiveness – 4 Syllables.
Then layer in their word as a rhythm, one at a time. Start with a one syllable word on the
Bass note to ground the rhythm. As people enter with their value rhythm, they say it as they
play it until after a while stopping speaking and letting the rhythm speak for them – finish the
opposite way with people resuming saying their value and stopping their drum so they are
just chanting together – then fade it away.
Discuss: Why the two volunteers said they trusted each other? What was that trust based
on? "How important is trust between friends?" “What does communication have to do with
trust?” “How does the context and level of risk impact your degree of trust? How can you
rebuild trust?
• Trust is built over time and consistency or reliability over that time.
• The amount you trust someone should be proportional to the time you have known
them and how reliable they have been over this period.
• The amount of risk should also be proportional to how much you know of someone
and their proven record of reliability
• Sometimes we need to trust people based on their expertise e.g., a doctor or a
mechanic.
• Rebuilding trust is similar in that it takes time to prove that you can be trusted if you
have deceived people in the past – you can’t expect people to trust you quickly, but
given time and consistency you can restore trust.
Friends are often the people that help us through the hardest challenges of our lives.
We have previously explored some of the things 'Good friends do'.
For most of us, when times get tough, it is friends that help us through.
Preliminary Questions:
Rumble if you have ever had someone help you through a difficult period of your life
What are some of the situations where you might need friends to support you?
What does the term 'fair weather friend' mean?
Friends, (a trust Exercise).
In this game, we ask for two people to come forward who trust each other – these two
people pair up and work together to negotiate a maze, made up from other participants
standing still like pillars. First the chosen pair agree on four sounds:
• One for walk straight ahead – steady beat
• One for stop – sharp sound
• One for angle yourself to the right
• One for angle yourself to the left
Bring the rest of the group into the circle and arrange in a maze, (these people stand with
hands folded across chest) and represent the hurdles of life (if people bump into them –
they may cry out – you just bumped into…….. e.g., ill health or relationship breakdown).
Then from the chosen pair, one person is blindfolded while the other steers them by walking
closely behind them playing different signals on a small drum.
TOTEM
A lot of people harbour deep feeling of loss and worry for the natural world
Introduce the indigenous concept of a totem - a totem is a natural object, plant or animal that
is inherited by members of a clan or family as their spiritual emblem. Totems define peoples'
roles and responsibilities, and their relationships with each other and creation. People have
a strong spiritual connection to their totem and an underlying duty of care towards it. They
draw energy and inspiration from their totem and learn from it; lessons about their place
within the world around them. Often a totem provides protection for the individual and vice-versa.
Ask people to think of one object, plant or animal they have a special affinity with. Suggest
examples - maybe you love cats or spending time near the ocean or you love gardening,
working with wood or walking in the mountains.
Then consider one thing you can do to care for, safeguard and protect that element. Maybe
you take in stray cats, pick up plastic off the beach, collect seeds from rare plants, defend
old growth forests from logging or plant trees to reduce erosion in the mountains.
We will play ‘Rumble Ball’ - I choose someone and throw them an imaginary ball - when the
ball leaves my hand everyone rumbles (on drum, table, lap) and when the catcher catches
the ball the rumble stops and they share one element of the natural world they feel a special
bond with and one thing they can do to help care for it. Ensure the ball travels in slow
motion, so don’t catch it too quickly which allows people plenty of time to rumble
Note - some indigenous people are happy to discuss their totem, others are not - be
sensitive and respectful if you have indigenous people in your group and ask permission to
discuss this subject.
First pair people up and ask them to get to know each other - highlighting the three things on
the slide
• Their name
• Who they work for and with
• A passion outside of work
Then choose a sport - Basketball, netball, football etc.
When the ball is passed between participants all rumble - when it is caught the rumble stops
and the pair (one of whom has caught the ball) introduce each other, before sending it on its
way again.
Encourage people to pass the ball and catch it in different ways – GET CREATIVE!
Highlight the importance of ‘Slow Motion’ so everyone has a good chance to rumble as the
ball moves between people. Don’t catch it too quickly!
If the ball goes to someone who has already been introduced, they just send it on.
This exercise can be used at any stage to have fun, release tension and examine a
presenting issue – instead of introducing themselves, participants would answer a question
e.g.
• When you catch the ball tell us one thing you did on the weekend
• When you catch the ball tell us one strength you recognise in yourself
• When you catch the ball name one adult you look up to as a role model
• When you catch the ball tell us one thing that you think is important in a healthy
relationship
All of us have histories and conditioning from the past that impacts our behaviour and thus our lives in unconscious ways. These generally stem from the disempowered world of the child.
In order to live our lives fully and to function as autonomous members of society we need to recognise these influences, observe them in our daily lives, for good or for worse, that keep resurfacing.
In order to break free of these histories we have to bring them to consciousness. This often means facing our childhood fears and the lethargy of inaction.
Breaking Free Exercise
Ask people to think about some of these unconscious behaviours they recognise in themselves, that maybe negatively impacting their lives or relationships.
Some common issues maybe:
I am not good enough, so I have low expectations, avoid risk, keep a low profile, and maybe tend to self-sabotage
My child self was neglected, so I make up for it by seeking power through material acquisition or power over others
I compensate for feelings of neglect and insecurity through the constant need for reassurance from others
Other addictive patterns that fill the want within - compensating for the pain of loss.
Choose a simple rhythm and make it clear that this symbolises these reoccurring, historically driven, behaviours we have discussed.
As they play the rhythm (together or in one to one work with you as their therapist) ask them to name these patterns (taking responsibility).
Then ask them to break away from the rhythm (the facilitator/therapist maintains the original rhythm) into a new pattern of their own. This can be challenging - tell people to use their Bass notes (values) to give direction to their new pattern.
As the new rhythm grows in confidence, the facilitator should fade theirs away.
Discussion
How did that feel? What helped you find the courage to break free? How important was first taking ownership of the original rhythm?
What might assist you break free from these problematic patterns in real life?
Variations between free play and discussions using the universal Heartbeat rhythm.
Here is how we introduce the game as initially a lateral thinking exercise and then as it becomes more popular we can use it to look at discrimination.
This is a lateral thinking game – that can be just fun or used to examine discrimination
Often, we will play this game with random factors for a few sessions before we move to look at deeper issues.
Tell everyone we are going to play a ‘Lateral Thinking’ game where they have to guess the reason people are barred from the rhythm – explain that you shouldn’t worry about being barred but focus instead on why?
We will play together and then I will stop the drumming and ask the question “Who’s out and what’s it all about?” Then people can suggest reasons. In the first round, you will have no clue and have to guess randomly - after that you will guess on what are the common factors about those being chosen by the facilitator.
Choose a random factor e.g. shoe style, drum type, and ban people because of it (1 person per round) – It should take 2-3 rounds before they get it.
Extension- this exercise can also be used to look at discrimination. Choose a physical factor – e.g. hair colour or eye colour and talk about discrimination or prejudice. – why are some people left out, rejected or discriminated against? How does that feel? How can we stand up to that?
Use the 'Speaker's Chair' routineEach person who enters the ‘Speakers Chair’ says one thing they do well (strength) and one thing they know they can work on (lesser strength).
Discussion: How is it to accept our strengths and put them to good use? How easy is it to accept our weaknesses and commit to improving on them?
Draw up a list of values on the white-board, and ask each person to choose one that is important to them. Then demonstrate how to use the syllables of each to make it into a rhythm, for example: Truth – one beat, Love – one beat, Kindness – two beats, Respect – two beats, Forgiveness – three beats, Honesty – three beats, Generosity – five beats.
Each person has to play a rhythm representing a value that is important to them and connect it to the others in the group.
Start the exercise by playing your ‘value rhythm’ and then have each person enter with their ‘value rhythm’ one at a time. (They can be encouraged to say or sing the name of their value to their beat as they enter.)
Discussion:
How do your values fit with your identity and sense of self?
How hard is it to live up to your values?
How do values connect people? What if your values were very different from someone else? Would it be easy or difficult to get on with someone whose values were different from yours?
Start with a short discussion on the importance of helping out others if you can and getting help yourself when you need it – everyone has the potential to do both and each brings rewards. It can be difficult to give and it can also be difficult to ask for help. What are some of the situations where you might need support or be able to offer support?
One person should start a simple foundation rhythm and each person should enter in succession but only at the request of the drummer already playing next to them. The drummer should invite the next person to join the group with the phrase ‘Help me out, if you can!’ (fl, fl, fl, O o O). When everyone is in, finish with all players doing the break and saying the phrase ‘Help me out, if you can’ at the same time.
Discuss the benefits of altruism. What are the rewards of giving or supporting someone in times of need? If giving brings rewards, why is it often hard to ask for help? How does balance impact this issue? Can you ask too much or give too much?
Empowering participants by getting them to lead with their own rhythms.
A one to one example of this exercise where the challenge is to hold on to your rhythm (what is good for you) in the face of other people's influence.
Often aligned to holding onto your values in the face of someone trying to get you to compromise them.
It is always beneficial to name the two parts (rhythms/actions) with concrete examples of different choices relevant to the individual being tested.
Practice the drumming phrase Fl, OoOoO, Fl (What do you know about?).
Pair people up to find out two things about each other (e.g. their favourite colour, their favourite animal). Then start a rhythm and when the phrase is played one person at a time answers with two Bass notes and tells the group what they have learnt about their neighbour.
Choose a theme and two questions that must be answered to avoid infection, e.g. two important values, two strengths, two character traits. Choose the 1st Zombie by asking for the best Zombie face. Then have the drummers play a steady Bass pulse. A person has to list the chosen field before the Zombie reaches them (light touch to shoulder), if they are to avoid being infected. If anyone is infected by the Zombie they join them in the middle of the circle until all are Zombies.
Note - This game can also be used to have people reflect on a wide range of issues in a fun way, including values, strengths, fears, emotions, boundaries etc.
Choose a theme and two questions that must be answered to avoid infection, e.g. two important values, two strengths, two character traits. Choose the 1st Zombie by asking for the best Zombie face. Then have the drummers play a steady Bass pulse. A person has to list the chosen field before the Zombie reaches them (light touch to shoulder), if they are to avoid being infected. If anyone is infected by the Zombie they join them in the middle of the circle until all are Zombies.
Note - This game can also be used to have people reflect on a wide range of issues in a fun way, including values, strengths, fears, emotions, boundaries etc.
Ask one person to play a slow, steady pulse on the Bass note of their drum (they are the co-facilitator).
Say: ‘In this game I am going to ask a series of questions and you are going to stand up if they are true about you and stay seated if not – try and stand and sit on the pulse of the Bass note, not in between the notes.’
Ask a series of questions relevant to your group that promote tolerance.[AQ]
• Stand if you have a friend who is different from you.
• Stand if you speak two languages.
• Stand if you like football.
• Stand if you ever get lonely.
• Stand if you live with one parent.
• Stand if you like ice cream.
• Stand if you like to win.
• Stand if you like to get your own way.
• Stand if you like music.
• Stand if you ever get angry.
Adapt the questions to participants’ age range and interests. Replace standing and sitting with other indicators, such as different drum responses, for those with physical difficulties that make standing difficult.
Have a discussion on the things that make us human, things that unite us and things that divide us. Did you notice how many of these questions we answered together? As people do you think we are more alike or less alike? Why do you think we sometimes focus more on the differences between us than on recognising our similarities?
Note: Amend the questions to suit the issues of the individual or group.
INTRODUCED WITH A FOCUS ON ‘SOMETHING SOMEONE HAS DONE’
We will play together and then I will stop the drumming and ask the question “Who’s out and what’s it all about?” Then people can suggest reasons. In the first round, you will have no clue and have to guess randomly - after that you will guess on what are the common factors about those being chosen by the facilitator.
If blame is a problem in your group, people will start blaming each other or sometimes themselves. Thus, the secret is that the first person to blame somebody else or themselves, for something they apparently did wrong is the person eliminated. Resume the rhythm once somebody falls into this trap. It will generally take several goes before people realise it is ‘blame’ that is defeating them!
Discussion: What are some of the ways blame defeats you in real life? How can you take responsibility for your life if you are always blaming others for what goes wrong? if you blame someone for something that happened to you are you in effect saying they have the power to control your life? By avoiding blame, you take back that power. What about self-blame? How is our life affected when we are continually down on ourselves? How can we change that?
Define the term ‘scratch my back’ in relation to the support we give to each other in healthy relationships. What are some of the ways we can support each other?
Explain that in this game you have to pass a scratch from your drum to another person as a way of saying that you would support them if they needed you.
Start with everyone playing the heartbeat foundation rhythm. Then choose one person to add the scratch to their rhythm and pass it over to someone else using eye contact as a way of offering support to that person. The receiver then has to pass it on to another member in the same way and so the game continues.
How important is it to share and support each other in families or as friends? What happens in families when people only think of themselves? Have you seen situations where one person is exploited by others – that is they do all the work? If you were stuck in this sort of relationship what could you do?
This is an exercise that looks at behavioural change and self-responsibility.
Revisit the discussion on power and extend it to look at personal responsibility. How much power (agency) do you think you have to make the best of your life? How much power do you have over your thoughts and feelings? How much power do you have over how you act and the choices you make? Where does responsibility intersect with your power? If you assume responsibility do you take back power?
Note: it is important to acknowledge that people’s feelings of agency vary at different times of their lives.
Once there is a consensus that in many ways we do have power to determine our future and we need to take responsibility for that (as much as we can); The phrase - O o O - o O , B b B - b B is practiced, which represents the theme ‘If it is to be - Then it’s up to me’. (I often split this so one half of a group play the Tones and the other replies with the Bass notes)
A flowing rhythm starts (which represents the flow of life), & the practitioner tells the group that he/she will interrupt that flow with a countdown 4,3,2,1, STOP, just like problems or challenges that surface from time to time in our own lives. To resume the flow, the group will play the break – ‘If it is to be, then it’s up to me’ (taking responsibility to find the solutions, make the right choices or seek help). Finish by having everyone say the phrase over the top of the break.
Discuss the importance of responsibility in life generally, and how it relates to trust, social cohesion and freedom.
Preliminary Questions:
Rumble if you have ever had someone help you through a difficult period of your life
What are some of the situations where you might need friends to support you?
What does the term 'fair weather friend' mean?
Friends,
In this game, we ask for two people to come forward who trust each other – these two people pair up and work together to negotiate a maze, made up from other participants standing still like pillars. First the chosen pair agree on four sounds:
• One for walk straight ahead – steady beat
• One for stop – sharp sound
• One for move right
• One for move left
Bring 4 or 5 others into the circle and arrange in a maze, (these people stand with hands folded across chest) and represent the hurdles of life (if people bump into them – they may cry out – you just bumped into …….. e.g. ill health or relationship breakdown).
Then from the chosen pair, one person is blindfolded while the other steers them by walking closely behind them playing different signals on a small drum.
Addition – sometimes you can name the people in the maze as the different hurdles we have noted that may require friendship to overcome. If someone bumps into these – they yell out the life obstacle they represent.
Discuss: "How important is trust between friends?" "What is trust built upon?" Who has had a close friend help them avoid problems in their lives? How hard is it to listen to friends who want you to change your behaviour? How does the context impact your degree of trust?
Discuss the nature of change as a constant in life and the need to adapt to change – find examples, such as change in climate, change in body, change in government, change in locality, change in workplace, change in schools.
In this exercise, the facilitator starts a rhythm and appoints a ‘change maker’ – this person can alter the rhythm in three different ways, by:
• changing the rhythm itself by adding or subtracting different beats
• changing the tempo by speeding up or slowing down
• changing the volume by getting louder or softer.
Other group members must adapt their rhythm in line with the change maker.
What helps you adapt to change? What are the consequences of not adapting? Is too much change unsettling or dangerous? Is leadership and communication important to implementing and adapting to change?
Note this exercise also has strong application within corporate development programs and for children on the spectrum who struggle with change.
This exercise follows a similar format to 'What Does a Good Friend Do?'
Over the top of a basic foundation rhythm, the practitioner plays a rhythm phrase that symbolises the question ‘What Do You Want From Your Life?', (Fl-OoO-OoO) encourage participants to play this phrase with you each time. One at a time, each participant answers that question with one of three sounds - one Bass note, two Bass notes or three Bass notes - the number corresponds to how many different things they can think of.
After answering with their drum, the responder states their answer/s & the rhythm resumes.
These answers can be written on the white-board for further discussion after the exercise has been completed.